So, you think your life sucks?
by I am the antihero Calmasis
Summary: -NO LONGER BEING UPDATED-
1. 1: Key

**I know, you're probably going to all kill me for being soooo dang inactive lately, aren't ya? Well, here's some compensation. **

**This is some of my latest writings (and sort of a repost from deviantArt) - and I'm quite proud of it. Meet my OC, Avalon Tellus. ****Seems like a nice girl, but what is her past? Really? Well, this is her recount of her life - thus far. Mind you, it might be fast at parts - since it is her memories. **

**But, I digress. Enjoy.**

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><p>It feels like I've known him for as long as I've lived, but deep down, I know that isn't true. He matters so much to me, but…I can't even do the simplest things to help him. My circle of friends isn't very large, but the amount of people I trust the most is even smaller. He's a part of it, but I don't think he sees how much I care for him. He's a large part of my life. A very important part of my life. I…I only wish I were able to help him.<p>

Please, don't die on me.

xxxxxx

I don't know where to start.

I lived in – well – the United States of America. My family really didn't care about me all that much since I didn't act the way they wanted me to. I didn't have any friends and – to make matters worse – no one trusted me or would give me a job.

This caused my family to resent me even more…they thought I wasn't trying to get a job to support myself – which wasn't true. I tried as hard as I could to find one.

When I found out I could wield the keyblade, I wanted to leave and learn how to control it.

But my parents didn't agree with it. They…disowned me. They basically threw me out when I expressed I wanted to learn how to control this ability.

Part of me didn't care that my parents hated me, but the other part of me was deeply wounded by their words. That part wanted to give up on the keyblade and just behave like they wanted me to. But, my stubbornness – my constant stubbornness – got in the way once again and I left that world altogether to train.

I trained for days on end with several Keyblade Masters. I learned to not only fight with the keyblade, but also use the abilities within it, such as opening paths to different worlds, turning it into a mode of transport and countless other abilities.

Magic (the practice of turning the vast energy within oneself into the various elements and using them as an aide in battle) was a concept I grasped easily and quickly. It was the main focus of my studies. I loved magic, and I got very good at it. Magic was one of the few things I was actually good at.

I didn't really make many friends when training with the Keyblade Masters, but I did befriend a few. They were also training in magic, and we were always trying to beat each other to see who would learn the most. I have to be honest; it was fun.

But, after a few years of training and traveling through the worlds, I began to feel homesick. I tried to tell myself not to care about them – since they disowned me – but I didn't listen to myself again and told my teachers I was just going to visit my family.

I was about…twenty or twenty-two when I finally came back to my world, my home. It was as I remembered it – and I was hoping at least my family missed me.

Those hopes were dashed.

xxxxx

I hesitated in front of my family's home. What would they say when they saw me?

When I left, I was a skinny, weak 15-year-old girl. Now – five or so years later – here I was, definitely taller and stronger (I didn't look wimpy). My brown hair had gotten much longer and I now kept it back in a ponytail to keep it out of my face when fighting, and I didn't appear to be from…anywhere in this world. The clothing I wore was definitely different from anything in this one – but still oh so similar.

I took a deep breath. _No, I'm not afraid of them._

I lifted my hand and knocked on the door a couple times, before stepping back just slightly. Five years, and I was still afraid of my parents…what a loser I was.

I heard some talking from inside, then I heard the lock flip as the door opened to reveal the face of my mother. She looked like she did when she was greeting strangers, but then a look of shock hit her when she realized who it was.

But that shock…turned to anger.

"You aren't welcome here," she hissed, closing the door.

I acted quickly and stuck my foot between the door and its frame, pushing it open slightly. "Is that what you say to the daughter you haven't seen in five years?" I demanded.

She didn't respond.

I bit my lip and glared right at her. "I leave for five years and you give me the cold shoulder. _I'm your daughter_, can't you be a bit more compassionate?"

"I only have one daughter," came her cold voice. My eyes widened in shock, then I looked down, taking my foot out of the door as she slammed it shut. I heard the click of a lock and then heard her footsteps as she walked away.

She was talking about my sister…my younger sister…

I fought back a wave of sorrow, then glared at the house. Fine, if that was the way it was going to be, then fine. I don't care about them. I was fine by myself! I was without them for five years, and look at me! Better than I would have been if I hadn't left. I was far better off!

With one more glare at _my family's_ house, I turned and stalked away, grinding my teeth in anger and fighting back tears.

xxxxx

I kept walking. I was walking out of the city so I could open a portal to get back to _my_ home; with the other keybearers. The whole time, I kept thinking up ways to get rid of them, but I dismissed them all. They were my family, whether or not I liked them. Killing them was wrong.

Despite how much I loathed them, I wouldn't hurt them.

I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and a chill run down my spine. What was that…?

I carefully looked behind me and saw that someone was following me. Damn it, it looked like some thug.

I kept my head down and kept walking, then quickly bolted into an alleyway, my feet pounding loudly on the ground.

Whoever had been following me swore loudly and I heard them run after me. Crap.

I guess I hadn't been paying attention, and I saw something move within the shadows. I just had enough time to leap out of the way as I saw something flash silver right where I had been.

So they wanted to play it dirty, huh?

Well, fine by me.

I landed in a crouching position, my keyblade - Crystallus Lux - in my hand, brilliant crystals shining in the dim light. My eyes adjusted to the lighting and I saw at least six hooded figures (thugs, hoods…those creeps) walking toward me, drawing knives or pipes. Whoopee.

I heard movement behind me and looked. Oh, wonderful. There were at least six more behind me. I was surrounded.

I thought about climbing up the walls, but I couldn't see any sure hand holds in the walls… Damn it, I got myself stuck.

I clenched my free hand and felt a second keyblade appear, this one seemingly drawing light into it like a black hole (well, it was called Inanis Cor – "Heart of the Void"). I looked up, calming my breathing as I felt a wave of power shoot through me, my left eye flashing the orange-yellow of darkness.

I readied an attack, when one of them spoke.

"Keyblade wielders aren't welcome here," came the raspy voice of one of the thugs. My eyes widened; how did they know?

When one of them stepped into the light that radiated from Crystallus Lux, I understood what was going on. His face was half covered in eerie shadows, one of his eyes a solid yellow. Tch, Heartless.

Well, they were like Heartless. Heartless were more…peaceful (if someone didn't enter their territory). These creatures – the ones without names – were like the Heartless, except they possessed people and toyed with the negative emotions and darkness within them. Anger, hatred, sorrow…anything that would increase that monster's power.

But there was always one sure way to tell the Nameless (what some called them) from the Heartless: they sought out the ones with the ability to wield the keyblade and killed them. They were like assassins; sent to kill us.

Well, guess it was time for some revenge.

I stood up, holding Crystallus Lux and Inanis Cor out, watching the Nameless carefully. When one of them started to advance on me, I quickly charged at him (it) and slashed upward with both keys, dark flames and beams of light roaring from the two keys.

I caught a look of surprise in his eyes as he was sent flying backwards into the other Nameless. I had hoped I had killed him, but the six just stood up and attacked – along with the six behind me.

I tried to keep them at bay, spinning my keyblades around me and throwing them back for but a few seconds before they resumed their assault. _They're like zombies!_

Okay, so keyblades weren't enough.

I slammed the light and dark keys into the ground and began to chant under my breath, pronouncing each word carefully so I wouldn't fail.

I took a deep breath, then shouted: "Heaven above, hear my call! I ask but one boon; to make thy foes fall!  
>O great Seas, hear my plea! Please, send my foes crashing to their knees!<br>Combine, now! Wind, Water, and Light! Help me now with thine might!  
>Soar from the Heavens; thy course is true!<br>O great Torrent, their time will end soon!"

I took another deep breath, then yelled as loud as I could: "Heavens, send thy wrath! Aid me now, O great Torrent!"

I poured as much energy (or mana) into the spell as I could as a large column of water fell from the sky around me, pummeling the Nameless to the ground. Just as it was about to hit me, I shouted "Reflega!" to shield myself from the blow as the water cascaded around me, draining my strength.

When the spell finally ended, I canceled Reflega and stood up, stumbling for a second from how much energy I used. All the Nameless were on the ground; pummeled from the spell. _Thank god…I hope this is over…_

I reached into my pocket as I dismissed Crystallus Lux and Inanis Cor and pulled out a bottle filled with transparent, blue liquid that shone slightly and sloshed around noiselessly. It was an ether.

I unscrewed the cap and downed the liquid, tossing the glass jar off to the side as I walked over some of the Nameless' bodies; I hoped that their possession over those people had ended.

Well, I was wrong.

A hand grabbed my ankle, surprising me as one of them stood up, his face completely black. _The leader…_

The others began to stand back up, soaked to the bone as they grabbed their weapons once more, shifting around as they waited for an opening.

I summoned Inanis Cor and threw it down at the Nameless, slicing his hand off as I grabbed the dark keyblade and tried to run away from them, but quickly being cut off. Damn it…

The hand disappeared from my leg as I turned around and saw it reappear on the Nameless that grabbed me. Oh, lovely. Just lovely. They were zombies. Relentless zombies that wouldn't leave me alone!

I could feel the effects of the ether as it revitalized my energy. Great, I might just be able to escape.

I backed up a bit and switched Inanis Cor to my left hand, then slammed my fist into the ground, yelling "Quake!" and causing the ground underneath me to crack as large chunks of rock shot out of the ground and at the Nameless. It knocked them back – and I tried to make my escape – but they quickly recovered and attacked once more, one of them smashing a pipe into my arm.

I yelped and leaped back, grabbing my left arm. Thank god that wasn't the one I normally fought with…It hurt so much, and I was praying that the bone wasn't broken.

I dismissed the dark key, then summoned Crystallus Lux once more, cocking my good arm back, then throwing it at the Nameless. It slashed through their ranks, seeming to kill them, but they quickly reformed.

I swore loudly and caught the crystal-like keyblade, holding it up as I muttered under my breath.

"Holyja!" I yelled, stabbing my keyblade upward toward the sky. Five pillars of light formed around me from the energy that radiated from my keyblade. With a downward slash of Crystallus Lux, the five pillars shot out at the Nameless, pressing them back…but not for long.

_Damn it! Why won't they die? _

I kept fighting, and fighting. The longer I fought, the more tired I became. More and more wounds began to appear on me, blood streaming down my arms, my legs, my back and my face.

But not one of the Nameless seemed injured.

Sure, a lot were singed, soaked, frozen, electrocuted, or had parts of them crawling with darkness…but their onslaught didn't let up! They kept coming and I was having a hard time keeping them away. Now I understood why they were so dangerous…and the Masters told us not to fight them.

Breath heavy and jagged, I stabbed my keyblades (I was holding both now, trying the best I could to fight with two injured arms) into the ground and muttered a spell under my breath that created a wall of rocks around me, creating a small fortress.

It wouldn't last, but I needed it.

I rummaged around in my bags until I found what I was looking for: my last elixir. I didn't want to use it…but I needed it.

Inside the bottle was a yellow liquid I quickly downed, the warm remedy flowing down my throat.

I threw the bottle to the ground and took a deep breath, feeling my energy slowly returning and the wounds slightly disappearing. Okay, small cuts and bruises were still there, but I could use both of my arms now.

I just only wished there was something for treating fatigue…

I bounced on the balls of my feet a bit, trying to fight away the heavy feeling in me before I let the spell around me fade, the rocks falling to the ground.

I summoned my keyblades to my hands – Crystallus Lux in my right, and Inanis Cor in my left – and ran at the Nameless, cocking my arms back and slashing at one of the monsters with both keys. It was flown back into the mass of bodies, but – again – they recovered and continued their assault.

I readied my keyblades, and slid back into a fighting stance, trying to pinpoint the locations of all of the Nameless. I didn't want to-

I felt a sharp pain shoot through my back as an involuntary scream escaped me. There was something _in _my back; I could clearly feel it. The only thing I really could notice was the pain that coursed through me, canceling everything else out. The pain began to numb as the scream faded away. I couldn't breathe and my strength was slowly ebbing away…

Whatever was in my back slipped away as I collapsed to the ground, my keyblades clattering loudly as I couldn't hold them anymore. Pain. The only thing I was aware of was pain as my body crumbled to the ground…

..and everything disappeared into blackness.

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><p><strong>Ahh, doesn't it just feel good to kill a character first chapter?<strong>

**No? Ah, anyways, I'm joking. I actually had a hard time killing her off - describing it and bringing myself to do it.**

**I would like to clarify something, though.**

**T****his story is set waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before the Kingdom Hearts universe. Heck, Eraqus isn't even alive yet! I'm guessing around this time, there are definitely more keyblade wielders. And what with more keyblade wielders, comes a different threat (one that isn't present in the actual games). A group of monsters whose names have been lost in time - they've been recently dubbed the "Nameless." Think of them like assassins - similar to the Heartless, but more humanoid and vicious. They only target keybearers - but they kill any who get in their way.**

**I'd like to see you all guess who she is talking about in the very beginning. Any guesses? And no, he's not a character from KH or Bleach. Though, is - in some way - related to Bleach.**

**R&R!  
><strong>


	2. 2: Death

**EVIL! I AM EVIL *shot* I continue the story after she's dead!**

**...But it is a Bleach fanfiction, too, so what do you expect? *shrugs***

**Anyways, enjoy.**

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><p>"Hey, are you all right? Wake up."<p>

"Oh, give up. She's been like that since she got here."

"That does not mean I cannot try."

"Tsk, stupid Germans..."

"Arrogant bastards...Hey, are you going to get up or not? Wake up!"

It took me a while to realize what was going on; was that some girl's voice? And...I wasn't in pain?

I felt that something was on my shoulder, and I struggled to open my eyes (which actually was harder than it sounds).

"Eat that!" that girl yelled as whatever was on my shoulder disappeared.

When I did manage to open my eyes - and actually register things around me - I saw a girl standing in front of me - well, not really a girl; she looked about twenty or so.

"Oh, good. You are awake," she said in an apparent - but not thick - German accent.

"Awake...?" I asked, leaning forward.

I took a moment to study my surroundings before the woman responded. Where was I? The houses around me looked like…old-style Asian house... And why the heck were most of the people here in...kimonos? Even some of the guys...that was just...disturbing.

The woman nodded. "Sometimes it happens. When someone who is not supposed to be here, they are rendered unconscious. Do not worry, it happens _all_ the time."

Okay, I was confused.

"What is going on...?" I asked again, rubbing the side of my head with my fingers. "I thought...oh, never mind."

She looked at me with a confused look, then said: "You do not know?"

"No..."

"You are dead."

I stopped, looking at the woman with shock. Wh-What?

"This has got to be some joke!" I said, feeling my heart pound in my chest. No, no this can't be...How was I dead? That wasn't-

Oh, right...

A shudder went through me as I remembered that alleyway...and the Nameless. One of them...stabbed me.

I subconsciously grabbed my chest and winced. So, I'm dead...

I looked at the woman (who I realized was albino - with her long white hair, her pink-red eyes and pale skin) and struggled to say: "So, what exactly is this...?"

The woman cradled her head in her right hand, seemingly in thought.

"Hm, one way to explain it...is an afterlife," she said.

"_An_ afterlife?"

She nodded. "There are different ones for different cultures. You are usually sent to the one you are from...but sometimes there are mistakes."

"What?" What was she talking about...?

She looked at me. "I am guessing that - by your accent - you are American, no?"

Wow, spot on. "Yeah, I am."

"Then you should have gone to whatever the American one is. Hell, Heaven, wherever they go. I guess it depends on whether or not you are Christian or not...I am not entirely sure. But, they are all different."

"Then, where are we?"

"Some people call it the Soul Society. I am not entirely sure if it has a name other than that."

"And it's...?"

"Japanese."

I just stared at this woman. Japanese? Seriously?

"How the hell am I here?" I exclaimed, shakily standing up (though, I was extremely unbalanced).

"As I said before, there are mistakes. Sometimes you are sent to the wrong afterlife - like I was."

"And you can't do anything to get to the right one?"

"No, I am afraid not." Whoopee, I went to the afterlife of crazy Asians...

I sighed and shook my head. Guess I'd have to just deal with it...

The woman looked at me, then said. "Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Annika Feld."

I nodded. "I'm Avalon Tellus. Nice to meet you, I guess."

I didn't want to say it, but I found it amusing how she pronounced her name. I would have though she'd say it "ann-nih-kah," but she said it "ann-nee-kah" and raised her voice just a bit when she said "nee." And did I mention it was a bit strange how she said "I am" and "you are" instead of "I'm" and "you're?"

I looked down, a bit confused. Well, first of all...I was dead. I really was dead. This whole afterlife thing was just disturbing. I've never really believed in one, but here I was. Dead, but still able to think and speak...

Second? Annika. What did she want? No one was always nice right off the bat – or really explained anything in great detail. This was unnerving.

"Is something bothering you?" I heard Annika ask, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, I'm just thinking," I replied, trying not to alert the German I was wary of her. But, I got curious.

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked.

The white haired girl looked away for a second. "No one else would have. They hate outsiders here. If you are not Japanese, they will ignore you. They only just tolerate other Asians. People like us are not supposed to be here. They know that and hate us even more for a small accident."

"And this is why you helped me?"

She nodded. "Being different and alone is painful. Being hated and alone is even more painful. That is why we try to band together."

"'We?'"

Annika nodded again. "Yes. There are a few others like us. Come with me." She motioned at me to follow her.

Okay, I honestly shouldn't have, but I got curious.

So, I followed Annika.

xxxx

What she led me to was an old, rundown house in a large cluster of abandoned buildings. Okay, suspicion rising...

When she walked in through the doorway (which was covered by some sort of blanket) I heard movement inside, and a couple of voices I didn't recognize.

Curious, I walked in and was surprised to see a bunch of other people there that looked so different. Some had dark skin (I mean, really dark brown!), while others had pale skin (though not colorless like Annika's). Their ages ranged from about four to fifteen, but it was apparent that Annika and I were the oldest ones in the room (well, by appearance...did people age after they died?).

"Who is this?" asked a girl with a very thick Russian accent who spoke slowly – like she had a hard time speaking English. I looked over and saw a girl with dark brown hair sitting off to one side with a boy that looked a little like her – and was younger than her.

"Katya, this is Avalon," Annika said. "Avalon, this is Katya Volkov and her younger brother, Miron."

"Hey," I said.

"A pleasure," Katya said, looking at me warily. It looked like her brother was going to say something, but she snapped at him in a language I assumed was Russian. What was that about...

Well, I guess Annika was telling the truth. She introduced me to Sethunya (a girl who spoke very awkwardly and slowly – and also had an African accent); Claude and Vincent (two French kids – apparently friends) along with Claude's sister, Amélie; Ailís and Cavan (Irish kids who seemed inseparable); Rylan, Seth, Kurtis and Rosalyn (four British kids; Rosalyn was the only girl, but she was so tomboyish it was hard to tell); and Dilan and Ciara (they were – believe it or not – American).

"Wow," was all I said after Annika introduced them all – and a few more.

But, something kept bugging me...

"How can you all speak English?" I asked.

Annika just laughed. "Claude suggested it. He knew a little bit of English and taught us it so we could talk with the others. Once Rylan and his group came, they taught us more."

"We should have gone with Russian," I heard Katya mutter.

"Russian's harder!" yelled Rylan (or was it Seth or Kurtis?). "Like that _blasted_ Japanese."

"Japanese is a pain," came Ciara's voice.

"I agree," Sethunya said. "But, English is still hard." She spoke a bit slowly – like Annika and Katya – but she seemed awkward when she spoke.

"It was not that hard," Annika replied.

"For you," Katya said bitterly. "Miron and I had a terrible time learning English."

"English is easy," Dilan said.

"You were born into it," Vincent said (in a very thick French accent). "It is natural for you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I smiled slightly as they began to quarrel. I don't know why, but seeing fights like this - not exactly serious, but among friends - made me happy. I never actually had friends like these kids had. I was almost jealous of them. But, I wasn't, at the same time. I was glad they had each other - even if they might have never met one another while they were alive.

"So," I heard Annika say, pulling me out of my thoughts, "what do you say? You could stay here with us."

I heard Katya mutter something (though, I really couldn't understand what she said!), but I just replied with: "I would like that a lot. Thanks."

xxxxx

Annika spent a lot of time, trying to fill me in on what was going on. We were in this place called _Rukongai_. This was called...the 70th district? Yeah, I think that's what it was. I was kind of surprised - and mad - when I found out about the different districts: there were a total of eighty, with hundreds of "Wholes" in each of them (why she didn't just say spirit, I wasn't sure). 1st was the safest - she said - and 80th was the most dangerous. The closer it was to the 80th district, the more dangerous it was. Lovely...ten away from that one.

Someone else (this guy with mixed heritage (American and German, I think) named Simon - about my age or so) filled me in on the Soul Society's "enforcers". They sounded terrible, to be honest. They didn't care if someone was separated from their biological family or not in death; and they didn't care if the citizens of Rukongai murdered each other; they did nothing to help them.

They were called Soul Reapers.

Some called them "_Shinigami_". Others called them "Balancers"...but "Creeps" fit, in my opinion. They sounded terrible.

Annika explained, then, how they were like Grim Reapers (from different cultures - I think she said that they handled the States and Britain, and other places like that), but Soul Reapers were dead, themselves. They weren't alive, so they could work without the living even knowing that they exist. She said something about the Valkyrie or something like that, but she just brushed it off, saying it was nothing.

To be honest, it was all so confusing. It really was. And I thought that the concept of monsters of darkness being docile was confusing...

I took a deep breath and sighed, placing my head on my entwined fingers. I was sitting on top of one of the few buildings around me that actually had a solid roof (I think it was Rylan's fault; he kept trying to tell me how he liked to hang out on roofs when he was still alive). I was just sitting there, mulling over what had happened (and trying to understand the whole "Soul Society" thing...).

I was dead. That couldn't get out of my mind. I just couldn't believe it...

Questions kept surfacing as I sat there.

"Why did I even go into that alleyway?" I was afraid it might have been someone malicious that hated people who were different (and the whole World Order thing; there were so few people who knew about different worlds and the keyblade).

"Why didn't I fight at full power?" I didn't want to alert anyone. Torrent was a huge risk, as it was. Though, I was surprised no one noticed those Holy and Dark spells...

"Why didn't I summon my Keyblade Glider and just get out of there?" That would have sent a wave of energy that could have brought a lot of people there. I would have been found out, and so many people that didn't deserve it could have died (if the Nameless were that vicious).

"Why didn't I just run?" Same reason as why I didn't summon my Glider. Except, I would have drawn attention through a disturbance (I mean, seriously. A girl running away from a group of about twelve guys. I might have gotten some help, but if I - a keyblade wielder - couldn't kill them, I doubt a normal person could have).

"Why didn't I just find a way to get other keyblade wielders to get there?" I didn't know of a way to do that, and it would have taken too long for them to get there, anyways.

Why, why, why...I pulled my legs up to my chest and looked down at the ground. Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that? It was all that seemed to be on my mind.

Then, there was another question:

"Why was I sent here?"

Annika said it was because it was a mistake, but...are there really ever any mistakes? Did whoever deals with people that die (Grim Reaper, Soul Reaper, Valkyrie...whatever) think it would be funny if I were sent here? Was it really a mistake? I didn't know.

I held out my right hand. Crystallus Lux always seemed to calm me down when I had it in my hand.

I tried to summon it, but - to my horror - nothing appeared.

"Wh-What?" I stood up, trying to summon the crystal-like keyblade over and over again. Nothing! It didn't appear!

I tried to summon Innanis Cor, but nothing happened when I tried to summon it, either!

_Magic! I might be able to use magic!_ I held out my hand in front of me and took a deep breath, muttering the command "Fire."

Not even a spark appeared.

My hand quivered as I pulled it back, my eyes wide with fear.

I couldn't use magic. My keyblades were gone.

I was powerless.

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><p><strong>*begins to whistle and flees* CRUD XD Man, why does it always seem I end it at juuust the right cliff hangers?<strong>

**So, how do you like Annika and the gang? I'm rather fond of them. ...mainly because I created them . But whatever! It definitely becomes more intense later on! Wait until the next chapter!**

**Until then, I will be off! Must keep writing!**

**Read and review!  
><strong>

**-Shioko**


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